DOES TIME HEALS ALL?

Most of us, if not all, have been in situations where your heart has been broken, where you are suffocated by the overwhelming weight of the current situation or problem, where you are cornered to act or make a critical decision, and/or where you think that there is no solution and you are at the end of the road. You feel that everything is falling apart, that everything you have built all these years is crumbling and falling and/or that you have no way to stop it or to survive it. You experience a cocktail of emotions going through your body including desperation, pain, sadness, fear, anger, loneliness, numbness, anxiety, depression, panic, irritation, furiousness, etc.

You cannot think straight, your brain is cloudy, your breathing is fast, and your blood is boiling. It is difficult to concentrate, to see the logic, to find answers or a solution…to feel better somehow. Your body goes into overdrive and you cannot rest or sleep. You feel drugged, numb, almost lifeless; and desperately look for help, guidance and a solution within yourself first, and then with family, friends, and mentors (religious, scholars, professionals, etc.), but you are completely trapped. You feel trapped in a hole, drowning or falling into an endless abyss, and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

As you are in the middle of the storm, most of the advice offered by people is completely useless and unhelpful for a grieving or desperate person, including sayings like “God works on mysterious ways,” “It is part of God’s plan,” “They are in a better place,” “Time heals all,” or any sentence that starts with “At least…” And, yes, there is some truth in plenty of these sayings, but when you are in the middle of an acute crisis, a little bit of truth is just not enough. And what about time? Will time really heal all wounds?

“It is correct that for most people after 18 months post trauma, loss or grief, the symptoms have greatly lessened in severity; but that does not mean that the trauma is gone,” says Leah Royden, a writer and registered psychotherapist. “The facts are: (1) Sometimes things actually get worse before they get better; (2) In some cases, time doesn’t actually improve matters for some people even in the long run; (3) Time goes really, really slow when you’re hurting; (4) The days can all bleed together (inability to imagine positive experiences when surrounded by bad experiences for long periods of time); (5) Trauma is literally timeless; (6) The "truth" of the statement, even when it is true, depends entirely on what you mean by "heal;" And, (7) Nobody can tell you what your unique experience of trauma, loss or grief will be like.” So, basically, there are no guarantees that time will heal all wounds. It is up to you to do it!

But with time, the dust will settle, at least a little bit; and you by yourself, or with the help of a support system, will be able to see things clearer, to confront your feelings, to face your insecurities and fears, to envision a solution (have a plan) and to make some decisions. For this, you will need a positive attitude, to understand that you are not alone and that you do not have to go through the entire experience alone, to be able to ask for help, to think big, to make a plan or, at least, to have a goal, and to never give up. You may give up on everyone and everything, but never, never give up on yourself. This is your life. This is your opportunity to make a difference. So, make this life your best experience possible!

The fact is that most of us have spent all of our lives building a sand castle thinking that it is a solid structure. At some point in our lives, the solidity of this castle was, or will, be tested. How hard? No one knows! Will it destroy the castle partly or completely? No one knows! The question is, do you want to wait until it happens or do you want to be prepared for when it happens? The answer to this question is all up to you. Whether you are prepared or not, it is not if, but when it is going to happen. The difference is that if you are prepared, it is not that it is not going to hurt, because it will, but you will be able to bounce back faster and stronger.

We all are going to die, get old, get sick, have our hearts broken, have financial problems, have to make some critical decisions, etc., etc. That’s a fact! At what level, with what intensity, how many of them and how many times are something for each of us to find out with time. The question is, are we going to just go through them when these challenges come, or are we going to get prepared for them? Learning how to deal with challenges takes time, persistence, and a positive attitude. No matter your life situation, hard times will happen. But, with the right mindset and practice, you will be able to overcome them every time and grow in the process!

And, there is no better time to get prepared than now. In fact, there is no other time than now. Now is the only time that exists, and if you are not living in the now, if you are not preparing for life, and if you are not taking responsibility for your wellbeing, then you are setting yourself up for a bumpy ride…to struggle and suffer through life. That’s what you have probably been doing all this time until now. You may think that because you are doing well right now (because you are healthy, happy, and can live comfortably), you do not have to do anything. Life is a series of cycles, and whatever your experience of life is right now, changes are inevitable. Nobody escapes! Don’t you want to be prepared? To drive through life blindly is not a way to live. Learn how to drive through life with your eyes open and the trip will be the most wonderful experience you will ever have!

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Author: Maurice Correa
Website: pathtoone.com
Blog: p2oblog.blogspot.com