WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT DO

During this period of the COVID-19 like in any other period of our lives, one of the greatest sources of our suffering is our need to “control” everything. We do not “accept” things as they are but want them to be as we want. Consciously, but most of the time unconsciously, we do not accept what is happening around us and want it to be the way we want. For instance, when we say or think: “it is raining again” or “it’s too hot”, we are not accepting unconsciously what it is but want the day to be a nice day, whatever a nice day means for you. We do the same with people, things, locations, etc.; and we do it all the time, for everything, and do not even realize we are doing it. This is why life is so hard. 

Just for the simple fact that we are trying to control everything and we do not even know that we are doing it. What most of us do not realize is that everything we are experiencing is happening inside of us, and not outside. All the stimulus from our sensorial organs and everything that we feel (emotions) are happening inside of us. Absolutely everything! If that is true, then we might not be able to control what happens outside of us, but we definitely could determine or manage what happens inside of us. Notice that I did not say “control” but “determine or manage” because it is not about controlling but about learning how to manage what is happening inside of us.

Starting from this premise explained above and applying it to today, let’s analyze first what we have no control of at all. We do not have control of the virus, its growth, or its cure; what people will do, say, or how they will behave; what the government and the rest of the world will do and how they will react; and even what our financial situation will be at the end of all this. All these things are out of our hands and, therefore, we should be aware of them and accept them as they are but there is absolutely no need to be afraid or stressed out for something that we have no control over and something that is happening to everyone, not just you. In other words, we are all in this together. It is not just you, or a specific company, group, community, industry or country. We are all affected, although the consequences will be greater for some than for others. But for the purpose of this writing, we are all in it and are all affected somehow.

Now let’s analyze what we can manage. We can manage everything that is related to us. We can manage what we think, say and do; what we stress about (which should be nothing); what our attitude and disposition are; and what our mood is. Make sure that you take precautions, that you follow the safety rules, and that you stay calm. More importantly, our best contribution can be making sure that you do not hoard resources, that you are kind, that you do not think just about yourself but about the well-being of everyone, that you act not as if you were healthy but as if you were ill; and that you are not part of the problem (do not get sick by breaking the rules). You may ask: “what do you mean by do not stress about it?” and the answer is: “will stressing out solve anything or will it just hurt you more than what you are hurting right now?” I strongly believe that the answer to the latter is obvious. Just relax, release (let go), and then wait to see what happens. When we have specific issues that we need to face, then we face them rationally and act accordingly. The rest, stressing about it will not solve anything and will only cause you tremendously more suffering.

In conclusion, this is a perfect time to cultivate yourself, to reflect and prioritize what is important in your life. We have been forced to do what we are supposed to do by ourselves, to get out of the hamster wheel called “daily routine” and reevaluate our lives. For the first time you are not busy and/or entertained all the time. You have options when facing the current situation: (1) You can use this experience to act out of fear: panic, lose your temper or mood, and become part of the problem by hoarding, not following the rules, complaining, etc. (2) You can use this experience to learn: learn how to manage your control issues; how to deal with your anxiety, wants and needs; how to recognize what you and others can contribute; and what you can do for the well-being of others, humanity and the planet, not only yours. Or, (3) you can use this experience to grow: grow by learning how to live in the present, how to find ways to help others and the planet, how to change “I need or want” for “thank you” (gratitude) for all you have, how to not compare with others, and how to not allow the opinion of others to influence whom you are. 

This is time to meditate and sculpt your life, to destroy the old you and create the new you by working on yourself, and to live a life a simplicity filled with love, joy, peace, and gratitude. Enjoy this time and do not worry about anything due to the fact that everything will work out as it is supposed to. Make everything not a calamity but an opportunity. This is our opportunity. The choice is yours!!!

Author: Maurice Correa
Website: pathtoone.com