CREATING DRAMA

In last week’s article titled “Life is a Drama,” I used drama as a metaphor to describe what life is like, how to really act (consciously) if we must act, and how to cease the drama, the delusion of life (consciously and present). In this week’s article, I am going to continue with the subject but on a more personal level. Why is that some people are always creating drama? It seems that they cannot do anything without creating drama, without being dramatic, or overly dramatic, and without drama following them everywhere. Why is that when dealing with these individuals on almost every phone call, text, business dealing, visit, transaction, etc., they have to make such a big deal out of everything?

Most of us have worked at an organization or known, been around, or lived with someone where you cannot have normal interactions. Everything is a crisis, needs to be done now and is, or they make it, so complicated and complex for themselves, and sometimes for everybody else around them, too. To the point that dealing with them is not just annoying but also stressful and exhausting at times.

“In the case of people being dramatic, or overly dramatic, it comes from deep inside of the person: their personality and identities. In most cases, they are over emotional, enjoy tension-filled scenes, and want others to know how they feel and how the situation is affecting them. The only thing that matters, or so it seems, is what is happening now, what is happening to them. They are surrounded by dares, tantrums, and ultimatums. Life becomes operatic, extravagant, and overly dramatic at times. Certain situations and stages of life can definitely exacerbate these inclinations,” says Dr. Thomas Henricks, Ph.D., a Danieley Professor of Sociology and Distinguished University Professor at Elon University.

There are many reasons why people choose to behave in this way, including adjusting to society’s expectations, trying to fit and/or stand in certain social circles, overwhelming physical and/or emotional challenges, being immature (acting “childish”), looking for attention, etc. Keep in mind that dramatic behavior may help the misbehavers get what they want. Commotion produces results, at least sometimes. And in many occasions or situations, they will try to involve everyone in their drama. Simply put, by allowing them to be dramatic, we are enabling them and feeding into that type of behavior.

Our behavior has been studied for centuries and multiple books and studies have been published related to this topic. The fact is that the way we behave and most of our interactions with others are a performance. We have a certain image of ourselves that we try to impose on others. Said differently, we want others to think of us in a certain way. To do that, we need to behave in a certain way that matches the image we want to project, the way we want them to think of us. This can be a double-edged sword when we do not want to act anymore but reveal ourselves as genuine, yet feel we won’t be accepted, as the expectation of how we were before will disappear (being the bold one, the life of the party, the pleaser, the comedian, etc.)

The difference with a theatrical drama is that in real life we are both actors and audience, there is not a predetermined script, and there are no fixed endings. Like actors, we dress, groom, talk and behave for each situation differently, depending on the impression that we want to present. At the same time, we are observing everyone else and creating an impression of them. If we are always acting and, in this performance, always managing our image, it has an adverse implication. It means that we are not being “true to ourselves and/or genuine” most of the time because we are not presenting ourselves as we truly are. We are presenting ourselves as we want to be perceived.

If we all are acting most of the time, if not all of the time, and we are not being genuine or true to ourselves, then those that are over dramatic are just an exaggerated version of us, whether they have valid reason or not to act as they do. We could easily conclude that if life seems difficult for most of us, life for the over dramatics must be very difficult, chaotic at times, if not all the time. It is only until we realize that life is a grand delusion, our own interpretation of a reality that we cannot really experience, that we will be able to do something about it.

For most people, life is not more difficult than mathematics, marriage, or anything else that we are trying for the first time. It is what we make of it. It is how conscious or compulsive we are in front of every single situation we face in life that will determine the significance of this experience. It is our own perception of reality. If we are able to accept things as they are, not as we want them to be, life is simple; and when life is simple, it is the most marvelous, beautiful experience.

But to do that you must stop acting, start being true to yourself, and create the life you want to live! Otherwise, it is just hard, difficult, and more likely perceived as a punishment. But perception is in the hands of the beholder! Only you can do something about it, isn’t that just wonderful? You are responsible even of your own perception! Your life and the meaning of this human experience depend completely on you, and not on anything or anyone else! You are responsible, fully responsible for everything! Your happiness or misery depends only on you!

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Author: Maurice Correa
Website: pathtoone.com
Blog: p2oblog.blogspot.com